Relationships First

whom can/do kids today really trust?

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

One thing I’ve noticed and been really bothered (and sometimes quite disturbed) by is how little trust young people seem to have in the world and its human inhabitants. They assume some finder will always keep their lost whatever it is they left behind. They (mostly girls) hide their faces from cameras and demand to see any photo taken and approve any use. Digital natives. I get it, and I see the lack of trust in others to do the kind thing or at least not do the unkind.

I figure this goes something like…

The very fortunate can trust their born-to family where they learn that people are kind and will do what they say they will do, and they never hurt you. They can trust them on good days and bad to be there as a support, and they don’t have to contort or cut themself to fit.

The still pretty lucky ones create their own family, or find at least one close friend to lean on and trust. They may have to ask for support, but they know it’s there, and they don’t have to earn it.

Far too many must get by with questionable relationships that can appear similar from the outside to those of the very fortunate or still lucky. But take a closer look, and you’ll find a lack of trust and a conditional, transactional not-love language used between so-called adults and their younger-than-them charges. These kids may or may not like Taylor Swift music, but they’d likely relate to this lyric: “you’re on your own kid/you always have been”.

Collectively Speaking
Kids don’t trust in much these days
Can’t trust the media
             Fake news
             Follow the money
Can’t trust the internet
             Fake people
             In it for the views
Can’t trust law enforcement
             Kill innocent people
             Cover up for each other
             Racist
Can’t trust politicians
             Cheat and lie
             Follow the money
Can’t trust teachers
             Have agendas 
             Just want summers off
            Agents of the State

Can’t trust “them.” 
So many “them”s. 

And so it goes. 
And so it echoes. 

And this is where we start to fix things—by showing up in real ways for the youngsters within and adjacent to our lives. Give them someone to trust. See them. Listen to them. Refrain from judging them. Seek first to understand. Be the villager they need in their corner.